Dance Advice for Humans

23 Problems only Competitive Dancers will Understand

Written by Chris Lynam | Jul 2, 2016 3:01:12 AM

There will be spray tan. Not to mention rhinestones, impulsive costume purchases, and a tour of major hotel chain ballrooms all over the world.  

Yes, the world of Competitive Dancing is a world of its own. For those of you who reside there, you may be able to identify with about 20 of these problems.

23 Problems Only Competitive Dancers Will Understand

1. Your Hotel room looks like a Spray Tan crime scene.

2. Your Latin competition video always looks like it’s on at half speed. 

3. Good Posture is as elusive as a Unicorn. 

4. At some point, you must make the "Dance Costumed Hotel Lobby" walk of shame.

5. Referring to your arm styling as "Under-developed" sounds much better than “T-Rex” or “Monkey arms”, but doesn't make them look any better.


6. You know the ninja-dance art of swearing while smiling.

7. You will spend hours working on a body part that few people will realize was important.

8. You will have a standard stock answer for Dancing with the Stars comparisons when your hobby is brought up. ("No, I've never been on the show.")

9The words “Getting my hair done” means you’re waking up earlier than most of humanity.

10. You can expect at least one essential competition item to be missing from your suitcase at all times. 

11. Phrases like “you made my brain bleed” and “my feet hate you” are considered compliments for your teachers and coaches. 

12That glass of wine when you’re finished competing will taste better than anything you’ve ever tasted, and that may be dangerous.

13. You understand that even in an empty ballroom, there is an invisible audience, in an invisible balcony, and your eyes must always be visible to them. (Keep your head up).

14.Your dance teacher has made you skeptical anytime anyone utters the phrase "one more time".  

15. You will rely on "Table Snacks", but you have never actually eaten a meal at a competition until it was completely over. 

16. Your Ballroom competition video looks like you’re dancing with your shoes tied together.

17. You will fix a smile on your face even as you hear gut wrenching results called. 

18. You understand that there is never a safe place to scream "Why me!?" when you don't get recalled to the next round. 

19. The thought of binging on desserts has crossed your mind until you think of your dance costume not fitting anymore. 

20. When you're finished competing, you take your dance shoes off like they were made out of Lava. 

21. The morning after a competition you’ll dress like a hung over celebrity caught on camera by the paparazzi.

22. You can’t remember what your comfort zone was like unless you look at hard to recognize, non-dance pictures of yourself. 

23. You know that no matter how much it hurts, challenges you, or costs, you'd be silly to give up on this fantastic hobby you're so grateful to have discovered.

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