4 Reasons Why Cool Dudes Don't Dance or Look at Explosions

Action heroes, they're everywhere.  We're not just talking about your typical summer blockbuster types.  We're talking about those cool guys that like what they like, are loyal to their sports teams, and think of beer as a workout recovery drink. 

Dudes. 

4 Reasons Why Cool Dudes Don't Dance (Or Look at Explosions)

1. It's Cooler to Walk Away

Action heroes like to walk away from dangerous things in slow motion (naturally). While this is great for a climactic action sequence, it's not so cool looking if the setting is a nightclub, and he's heading away from the dancing action.  (The only exception is if said hero is walking away, escorting his date, after dancing for several hours).

2. Don't Ever Look Like You're Trying, Unless You're Doing Something Awesome

Disarming a bomb?

Fighting off aliens?

Or just fixing the lawn mower?  Then it's perfectly okay to make those tasks look challenging - especially if it gives you a chance to sweat, flex your muscles, or get dirty.  Dancing, however, may not seem as masculine a task as, say, building a shed.  Most of the potential "Dance-Dude" population may scoff at what they may look while moving to the music, and that's why those that can disarm the Myths about dancing possess a true Social Superpower. 

3. Never Get Caught in a Situation You Can't Escape From

What do Batman, James Bond, and your Grandfather all have in common?  They can fix anything. It would be weird to hear that any of those three didn't have the requisite gadgets to fix anything from prison bars to a leaky faucet.  When it comes to dancing, however, it's easy to forget that the hobby is designed to expand your comfort zone.  That means there aren't any quick gadget solutions, and it's one of the few things in life you can't fix with Duct Tape.  

4. If You Don't Know it By Now... You Never Will

Ninjas use Martial Arts. Rambo knows "military combat".  James Bond knows how to seduce the bad guy's girlfriend to gain the advantage.  In some cases, like Superman, they are born with the ability.  Using the Superman "Must be born with it" Rule will limit any Cool Dudes everywhere from ever becoming great at dancing, or anything. In every other real life human case - there is training.  Whether it's Salsa Dancing or Mixed Martial Arts, skills can only be developed with training.

No word yet on whether Arthur Murray has developed the Matrix version of Ballroom and Latin Instruction. 

Final Thought

You need a montage.  You know, a technique which uses rapid editing, special effects and music to present compressed narrative information (thanks Wikipedia). Yours will be your journey to becoming a dance floor superhero.  Sure, you may not be able to speed through it as quickly as Neo in the Matrix, but you can rapidly augment your dance ability within the first few hours of your dance instruction.  The most challenging part is mustering up the Superpowers to walk through the door.  

Just imagine it's in slow motion and there's an explosion behind you.