5 Elite Excuses that Will Derail Your Dance Hobby
Your comfort zone voice is the villain in your story.
It's the shadow that is there to see every leap toward improvement and meet it like a safety net of disappointment.
"Who do you think you are?"
"You've never been the type to try that."
This voice can go from dismissive to bleak, from artificially concerned to fatalistic. You know it, you've heard it. At times you've been able to avoid it, tune it out, and contradict it, but as you embark on your quest for dance improvement, we can expect this voice to get louder as you get closer to the perimeters of your comfort zone.
Here are 5 Elite Excuses that voice will use to derail your dance hobby.
1. I'm going to wait until I'm ready
Taking action is the enemy of your comfort zone voice (CZV moving forward). Mold tends to grow in a dark environment with temperatures between 60-80 degrees Fahrenheit - consistent with a comfortable temperature for most humans.
On the surface, this seems plausible. After all, your Comfort Zone Voice needs to present ideas that are rational on the surface and can work in a social interaction.
"Hey, why didn't you perform tonight?"
"I wasn't feeling it. I think I'm going to wait until I'm ready."
While there are plenty of instances where the cook time on your dance projects hasn't been reached yet, this "not ready" rationale can be an easy response to put on repeat... indefinitely.
The Reality:
The feeling of not being ready is just that - A feeling. A new firefighter doesn't wait to feel ready, an expectant mother doesn't wait to deliver until she feels ready, and if we waited until we "felt ready" to start taking dance lessons... we might still be waiting.
A few truths to unpack:
1. "Ready" is a feeling to describe the past tense, not the future. The fireman that trained hard, the expectant mother that took all the breathing classes, and the new dance student that braved the walk through the door will all look back on the experience with a similar expression - "I really was ready to do that."
2. Anytime your teacher invites you to something, consider that as a sign that you're prepared to participate, even if your CZV tries to tell you otherwise. Why? Your teachers have taken countless students through the process. They have put the time and effort into your preparation and the fact that they are willing to stake their professional reputation to take that training public says a lot.
3. Arthur Murray is built to bend, but never break, your confidence. Confidence is a muscle, and we must challenge that muscle in order to build it. Every lesson, group class, practice party, solo routine, showcase, or Dance-O-Rama is another layer of progression in your journey to build more confidence, pure and simple.
4. Arthur Murray events are built around encouragement, teamwork, and feedback. We are a school, first and foremost. We are all on the same team. We all face a common rival - that voice that tells us all that we should stop our quest, turn around, go home and go back to a less interesting life.
5. Perfection isn't the start of a dance journey - If we were launching a rocket, you'd want everything perfect. You'd scrap the takeoff sequence, even if it was at the cost of millions of dollars, for something as simple as a change of the weather or a leaky gasket. Your dance journey is not a shuttle launch. You can show up straight from work, with one shoe on, and without your coffee and we can still make magic happen.
Your comfort zone will create an internal ad campaign that will try to convince you that you aren't equipped, you aren't primed, and you're definitely not perfect enough for anything outside of the norm - don't listen. Just show up.
We can only defeat the scary things when we choose to do the scary things. Avoiding them only makes them bigger obstacles.
2. I'll Never Look Like Them So Why Bother?
Your CZV uses a variety of tools to keep you second guessing your dance decisions, but Unfair Comparisons are its bread and butter.
"Look at that dancer. They probably got that good in a fraction of the time."
The Reality: If you deprive yourself of communication, your mind will become a supercomputer of speculation. Each and every talented student has a common backstory with you. The sooner you learn what that is, the more you can see the person, and not be thrown off by their skill level.
Ask your teacher to introduce you to someone who has dance skills that you admire. Ask questions, give compliments, and be an interested learner to hear how they started, what steps they took to speed up their progress, and even some friendly advice they'd like to offer.
If you're the one being admired, make sure to smile when you're warming up, break the silence and introduce yourself. After all, every Arthur Murray walked through the door for the first time and felt out of place. At some point, someone made you feel welcomed instead of uninvited. These moments are your opportunity to pay that forward.
3. This Doesn't Feel Comfortable So It's All a Bad Idea
Sometimes your CZV can start flailing, grasping at anything, even crazy things just to get your attention. The more attention you give it, the more power it gets. One example of this is treating the awkward parts of the learning process as a "cosmic sign" that this hobby is a bad idea.
Sound crazy? Sure, but think back to the last time you used a lame, convenient situation, as a sign to postpone something outside your comfort zone:
* Singing Karaoke: "I just remembered I need to save my voice for this work presentation tomorrow."
* Blind Date: "There are no parking places at this restaurant. I guess this date wasn't meant to be."
* Bungee Jumping: "I just remembered that I left a tuna sandwich inside my car and I don't want to eat that by mistake later and get food poisoning. Shucks, it looks like I'm going to have to step out of line and walk back there, drive it to another city with a decent fridge, and miss out on this experience."
The Reality: There's a reason why Arthur Murray has a poster in every studio called The Curve of Learning. It's there to remind you, and that pesky inner critic, that the learning process is filled with moments where things are a little clumsy, awkward, and not as smooth as we want them to be.
The good news? It's also a recipe. The process flows from the awkward use phase, then shifts into conscious use, and then the natural use phase.
Take action on this internal assessment by asking your teacher to show you where you are in the Curve of Learning, take it a step further by asking what they'd recommend to accelerate the progress.
Shaking off this elite excuse requires two things: Communication with your teacher and Bold Action.
4. I'm Way Too Busy Now, I'll Start Later
If you're a busy, there's one thing we can all agree on: Free time is never free.
Free time is an investment. Spending time on yourself may cost you a few hours of time where you could be working late. It may cost you a few hours of sleep if you are determined to do an early morning run to start your day. It definitely isn't free... and that's a good thing.
We don't have much value for free, but we put a tremendous amount of value in things we've invested in.
"You're going to be a lot less busy in the fall. Wait until then and then you can really pour it on with dancing."
Notice how your CZV made it seem like dancing would be a great idea, but down the road? This is why the villain in your story is not only evil, but cunning. If necessary, that voice is clever enough to entice you into postponing plans instead of canceling them altogether.
The Reality:
If your CZV can get you to postpone plans, it'll get you to postpone them again and again forever. It may not feel as final as an all out attack on taking dance lessons, but it's just as effective to have you hit the life snooze button on this goal forever.
Key Takeaways:
* You will always be busy.
* Free time is a myth. No one has free time. It takes a sacrifice, an investment.
* You will value your decision more if you've invested the time to do it.
5. Where am I ever going to use this?
And this is the point in our program where your comfort zone reaches into their bag of tricks and pulls out an excuse that is truly elite: Practicality.
That same survival instinct that has steered you away from buying nothing but Cheetos and Ice Cream for every meal, that feeling of caution that stopped you from blowing your savings on a Mediterranean cruise, or the pause you took before an impulse purchase.
That was the practicality machine. A specialty of your CZV.
"Yeah, dancing seems fun but where am I ever going to use it?"
Anything resembling this internal assessment is your comfort zone using the practical future as a way to evaluate the present opportunity. While this may be a new statement with your dancing, this is one of the greatest hits by your CZV.
*Learning Math: "Yeah, but when am I ever going to use this?"
*Trying out for after school sports: "It's not like I want to become a professional at this."
*Trying on formal attire: "Sure it's nice but where else am I ever going to wear this?"
The Reality:
The practicality assessment requires one thing: The Unknown.
It's only in the absence of experience that your comfort zone can do its best work filling in that void with fear and appeals of practicality.
If you haven't tried dance lessons yet... there's your void.
If you haven't tried working with a dance coach yet... there's your void.
If you have yet to attend a showcase, perform a solo routine, or participate in a Dance-O-Rama... there's your void.
Each and every void will be continuously exploited by your comfort zone until you do one thing.
The moment you fill the void with experience... you silence that voice. The void can no longer be a source of fear, repurposed with warnings, threats, and veiled messages disguised as an appeal to practicality.
Your comfort zone does not want you to sign up, jump in, take a shot, or add a new and exciting part of your personal autobiography. But the moment you sign up... you take the pen back and can be the author of your own story.
Final Thought
In The Wizard of Oz, the voice of Oz tries to get Dorothy and Co. to stay away from the curtain he's hiding behind. After all, he was much more powerful when he's behind the curtain. His voice booms. He's the all powerful Oz.
Your comfort zone voice is no different.
It is the all powerful, "voice of reason", that wants to hide behind its curtain of comfort and tell you what to do.
Just like Dorothy, your comfort zone wants to stop you from pulling back the curtain. Because behind it is just a bland and timid voice. Without it's curtain and microphone, it speaks at a whisper. Unplugged from the fuel of your fear, it can barely survive.
When you conquer that voice, it's amazing what your new inner voice sounds like. It is bold and ambitious. It's a motivator, an ally, and your ringside coach. It will challenge you and keep track of the changes you've made.
That voice will be proud of the courageous steps you've taken and will help you seek out future ones.
That's your hero voice... and you're ready to start using it.
