Spoiler Alert! Sometimes people learn how to dance so they can build confidence, learn a skill, and meet other single people.
Sorry.
This may be shocking information, but learning how to dance is one of the best tools for drastically improving your social life, and, well.... meeting people. The following tips are not guarantees, but they are helpful ideas on how to put yourself in the best position for finding that special someone on the dance floor.
The first step to finding love out on the floor is to never say, “No” to a dance offer. Dance with everyone who asks you if you’re a follower, and don’t stop asking if you’re a leader. The dance floor is where you gain the most leverage on the social scene, but you can't utilize that if you're on the sidelines with the rest of the non-dancing crowd.
Bottom Line: Do whatever you can to stay on the dance floor to maintain your social advantage.
There's something about smiling that breaks down the invisible social barriers. You could be an incredible dancer, but if you look worried, frustrated, or "stalker-like" in your hunt for potential dance partners - you'll be standing on the sidelines for a while.
Bottom Line: Your dancing can't replace common courtesies that make you a social option for someone.
Whether you are hitting the town going to Salsa, Tango, or Swing nightclubs, or actively participating in local Arthur Murray events - you've got to fill your social calendar. There are plenty of places to go, and people to dance with, but not from the confines of your home or office. The more often you're in an environment, and seen as a dancer, the more likely you'll make a good impression.
Bottom Line: A variety of venues and events will reduce the pressure you put on yourself to meet someone immediately.
If you’re a lady, adding some sexy arm or head styling to your dancing can make you feel more confident on the dance floor, and look more appealing. As a man, learn how to make your movements clear and confident. Read more about Leading and Following to understand how to stay in control and create trust in the way you feel to your partner. Take private dance lessons from a professional who can help add spice to your moves!
Read more about how Arthur Murray teaches people to add style to their dancing here.
Note - we are not suggesting that you arrive when the doors open, stand by yourself on the dance floor, and hold a sign that reads "available". Your goal is to log as many real-life minutes on the dance floor. This will firmly establish to any prospective dance partners that you know what you are doing, and are there to have a good time. Whether that's a nightclub, or an Arthur Murray showcase - sticking around, even after most people leave, will do that.
Bottom Line: You can't expect to get maximum results with minimal time invested.
80's romantic comedy alert! Your true love may be that dance friend that you've overlooked this entire time. This isn't a recommendation to hold a boom box over your head in front of their window, but it is a great example of how important your friends are. Trying to meet someone can come across as lusty or desperate. Making friends and having fun is a vibe that everyone can appreciate. So make friend finding your goal, and file "finding true love" under the bonus goal category.
Bottom Line: Focus on finding friends, not recruiting lovers.
Finish every dance politely. Compliment your partner on anything that you believe is true: "great leading", "fun to dance with", and "great smile". Don't overdo the compliments or you run the risk of sounding salesy and insincere "You are the greatest and most beautiful dancer this world has ever known." For more ideas on this, check out 21 Social Dance Challenges to Master.
Bottom Line: Compliments work best when they reflect the truth.
8. Level It Out
If you refine your "Finding Love Search" to include a specific dance level, you may lose a lot of prospective partners. As an advanced dancer, your ability to lead or follow should make you more adaptable to dancing with lower level partners - not the opposite. It's good to take pride in what you've accomplished, but bad if that comes across as snobby. Dial it down, dance with everyone, and keep the level related conversations exclusive to your private lessons.
Bottom Line: Your dance level should expand the number of partners you can dance with, not reduce it.
Are you playing the game correctly? If you are attempting to place your hands where you shouldn't - you are sacrificing your dance reputation for a moment of satisfaction. Not worth it. If you're a touchy feely, grabby, or inappropriate dancer - you'll keep that reputation and it will spread much quicker than anything positive you are doing. So, use good manners, good language, and appropriate dialogue to stay in the game.
Bottom Line: Don't take a short sided approach to the long game of social dancing
Nothing will repel dancing men more than a woman who tries to take the lead. Being sensitive, responsive, and balanced as a follower is an art form. For leaders, it's all about taking control in a way that's not overly physical. Like driving, it's all about knowing where you want to go, and avoiding collisions, road rage, and indecisive movement. Leading and following reveals a lot about a dancer, and a great dancer will appreciate when you're good at it.
For more ideas on Leading and Following, check out this article
There are times where you may be physically attracted to someone based on how they look, dress, or are built. There are other times when you may be attracted to a person based on how they make you feel, communicate, and how their personality is constructed. There may also be times when you may be attracted to them based on how they move, how they make you feel as a dancer, and how the two of you move together. All of these scenarios could not be possible if you were judgemental. Being open and accepting to a dance will allow you to interact with the interior of someone, just as much as their exterior.
Bottom Line: Sure, it's just a dance, but it's also an opportunity to get to know another part of the person.
The beauty of social dancing is that it's not a big commitment. You could ask someone to dance, thank them, and move on to someone else without any fear of dirty looks, or quiet judgement. Ballroom dancing is a throwback activity that allows people today to utilize all of the wonderful social graces of yesteryear. To utilize an invitation to dance that is verbal, with eye contact, and offering a hand instead of pouncing on your prey unannounced.
This hobby is an unfair advantage over the "stand and shake" bar and nightclub drones. There are real friendships that can form, social interaction goes up, and sometimes you can find that special someone.
It all starts with a single step.
To get started on the path to dance lessons at Arthur Murray, we recommend that you take a look at our Infographic on how to get started